Mmm mucho loves.

To Vivienne!
Got your letter yesterday Viv, and thank you so much. When I opened it up and read what you had written, you had me nearly crying. Miss ya that much, yanno? The time and effort you must've put in for that mail to me.. It just touches me deeply. In a non-pervy way. Haha. In all seriousness, I loved it. Thank you. When I get back 15 days- HUAH!-, we're going to have to meet. HAVE TO HAVE TO. Before you head to Melbourne. Yeap yeap. Okay.
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Another question I was musing upon-
Would you rather live forever, or die tomorrow?
I think I'd prefer to die tomorrow. The prospects of living longer than all the people I love, and the utter boredom I'd go through for all eternity.. No please.

Over the past couple of days..

I've been thinking. Yes, I do think. Haha. But anyway.. What started it? Well... Lex said something.. And I started pondering. Musing upon stuff like..
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If I ever had a major falling out with each of my friends [yes, I took different people and put them into the same situation each time around], I wonder what would happen? Yes, we'd just go on and live life. That's what everyone does, anyway. Nothing much we can do. But that's in black and white. The basic of everything. But what about the grey areas, the in-betweens? The personalization of the situation? Everyone reacts to the same situations differently.
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Something else I was musing upon... Would I [or you] prefer being screwed over, or screwing someone over? Say it has to do with friendships and all. Relationships. Not actual sex, you pervs. Haha. I would.. Hmm. I could say how I think I would react, but push come to shove and I'm in the actual situation... I don't think I'd do as I thought I would. Ever happened to you? Happens to me a lot. But anyway, I think I would personally prefer screwing someone over. Because I could always apologize and attempt to make the situation better. I don't trust easily, so if I were screwed over by a friend whom I had opened my heart up to and thought I could count on.. Meh. The personal, emotional pain is just.. I can't cope. Oh lulz. I don't deal with emotional stress very well. It's selfish, but yes. Another thing that would add in to this is... Which one of my friends it is. There are some people whom I wouldn't mess up for the world- They mean that much to me.
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Also. Do you read meanings into something that isn't there? I do it a lot. A whole lot, in fact. Especially when it comes to people. Which.. Isn't good, but I don't know. I'm suspicious.. And wary. I used to be gullible and naive! What happened? D8 But I digress.. I used to trust everyone and anyone. But now... It takes me longer to trust people. Like Lex said, I have commitment problems. I've been taken advantage of too many times. Best thing is.. I never know until someone else tells me... Or something blatantly obvious happens. XD Oops. Even now though. When I trust someone, I really place my faith in them. So.. It's still easy to take advantage of that. Haha meh. When I grow older I'd probably call myself ten kinds of idiot, but... I haven't been hurt enough to bother changing myself now. P8 I'm a moron. yes. OH WELL.
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Last question for today.. If you had the chance.. Would you choose to live forever? ... I don't think I would. x_o
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That is all. 8D

If you wanna lie, at least make up something believable.

Hell yeah. Y'know, if someone want to stop talking to me over IM, they could always tell me to my face. I don't mind if people want to end the conversation because we've run out of things to say- Hell, i can even tolerate you telling a lie once in a while. But if you choose to keep lying, at least, PLEASE FUCKING LIE PROPERLY. No, seriously! Don't tell such an obvious lie, especially not to me. Because i do not hesitate to point it out. Thought i was nice? Time to re-think that because seriously, i do have the guts to say something which would sever friendships. Especially if we were never close in the first place.
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Also... I don't like the feeling i get when i think i'm being used. Mmkay? I'm always there for my friends. I listen, i symphatize [if i feel that i should be condoling rather than giving them a swift kick of reality], and edge in my opinions somewhere. Sometimes i'll tell them flatly that they should get over it because it's a small matter, sometimes i let them go on and on and on. Because that's why i'm their friend. I'm here to listen. To anything. I'm the sort of person who would attempt to beat up the source of my closer friends' problems if i'm on their side of the matter. Think of it like the knight in shining [... k maybe tin-can] armour who slays the princess' dragons. It's amazing, that i can let myself be so worked up over problems that are not mine. Like a week ago. It fair kills me that i can't be home right now, so that i can help shield my friend from her problems. I'm super worried right now, and it's pissing me off that i can't do more than to just call her. Just... Ugh. By the time our conversation was over, i was so full of rage and badly wanted to punch something. I still wish i was there, yanno.
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But i sidetracked. Being used... I don't like the fact that i'm always there for people, and they take advantage of that fact. I get freakin' ignored unless they have a problem. Sure, i'm happy to listen and help them out as best as i can, but it does NOT mean they only talk to me when thye're in trouble! Who the hell do they think they are? If we don't even have a normal friendship, how can they just expect me to be there for them? No seriously, think about it. Sometimes, i wonder if i have this huge flashing signboard above my head which says TELL ME YOUR SECRETS EVEN IF I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU ARE. Seriously!
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Blah. Just, just, BLAH.